In 1994, Daimler-Benz and the Swiss novelty watch manufacturer – Swatch, came together in a joint venture to create the smart car. Yes, that’s ‘smart’ in lower case letters, just to showcase the peerless marketing the ad people’s stylebook aimed at with this teeny, tiny car. The bizarre concoction resulted in the most meaningful, new car format since Alec Issigonis’ Mini of 1959. The first production model rolled off the line on October 2nd, 1998 (my birthday incidentally) sporting an overall length of just 2.5m. The architecture of the smart was defined by its visually noticeable, ultra strong, three layered, ‘Tridion,’ steel frame and modular panels made from recycled plastic in between.

A three cylinder engine mounted below floor level in the rear, powering the rear wheels, meant no transmission intrusion and ample seating for two and the space and feel of a midsized saloon on the inside. Consumer response to the extraordinary convenience, charm, and almost artistic merit of the smart soon turned to skepticism though over the vehicles stability and safety. The mouse or elk, evasive maneuver test showed the smart to be susceptible to rollovers due to its high centre of gravity and short wheelbase.

This quickly began to make Mercedes Benz’s attempt at redefining the urban super-mini seem like a nightmarishly risky and expensive faux-pas. After all, it had already invested £1 billion in a new factory in Hambach, France, using new assembly techniques that involved several ‘sub-assemblies’ coming together only at the final build. To quell the furor over safety, Mercedes Benz invested a further £100 million into the project, redesigning the rear suspension, adding traction control and putting the initial estimates of annual output from France on the very far edge of profitability. However, after a slow start, safety concerns began to subside and smart introduced a roadster and city hatchback to flesh out the range. 1.2 million smart’s have since been sold worldwide.

Leaving us now, 13 years down the line, with the third generation of the original smart creation, the fortwo – that’s also the correct stylebook spelling… more specifically the smart fortwo Cabrio Passion. Little has changed.

And well, it is probably the most divisive cars I’ve driven. On the one hand I love the way it looks. I love the smallness, the groundbreaking micro engineering that allows all 6 foot 3 of me to fit comfortably, but only leaving inches front and back of me before the car comes to an end. I love the tall ride height / seating position that sits on par with soft roader SUV’s, so you can see far into the traffic to help you carve it up. I love the immediate steering, the engine note and the little smart’s do anything attitude. It also makes people smile. You couldn’t intimidate in a smart fortwo even if you fitted a brace of Tommy guns to the front.

I love most of all, the way you can absolutely destroy the traffic in a congested urban zone. Not so much on the highway, because you don’t have much power available to you in the fortwo. But in the city, if you’re willing to risk a few close calls, scare a few pedestrians senseless, maybe even a few potential side swipes and exhaust your hand, squeezing down on the hooter, you can outrun anything. The ride height gives you great vision ahead, and the tiny dimensions mean gaps you never would’ve dreamed of going for before, become yawning black holes through which to dart. And the beauty is if someone tries to close the gap on you, they can’t, just having your door handle even with their front fender means the entire smart is virtually in the gap; they’ll need to rear-end the car in front of them to close it. It’s marvelous.

Where it starts to come apart for the fortwo is almost everywhere else. Safety issues aside, it feels quite scary at times to be so close to the action in such a small car. Someone hooted at another road user from the opposite lane and I nearly had a heart attack, which gives you an idea of just how close to the action you are out there. You can’t go much over 130kph without it starting to feel quite unstable on the highway. Any wind, rain and that drops the speed even lower. Also, people either don’t see it or choose not to see it a lot of the time so trucks, pedestrians, geese, all seem magnetically drawn to it. Hence the trigger-happy-hooter technique you soon learn to develop. The recycled materials used in the interior are also not up to par for anyone who is used to the touch and feel of a conventional car. Everything looks rather mismatched and rattles throughout the stiff shell. It doesn’t even have a cd player.

But the hugest problem by far is the gearbox. It’s a manual with an automatic option and paddles behind the steering wheel…, fine. But in the time it takes between changing gears you could play a substantial game of solitaire with yourself. Auto or manual mode makes little difference; the gearbox is so dimwitted that it lurches around long enough for the most leisurely of pensioners to think you’re double parking. The engine in the Cabrio Passion, a 999cc, three cylinder, making 62kW & 120Nm is nice and fizzy but it’s strangled as a result by the gearbox when it comes to economy and driving enjoyment. Mercedes-Benz claim 4.9-litres per 100km, but I sat in the mid 7.0-litres per 100km for a lot of the time. You can get that return from most mid sized saloons these days, so it’s a poor effort for a 2.5m long city car that barely weighs a thousand kilos.

And then we get to the price: R192, 000… pah-lease. I love so many things about the smart fortwo Cabrio; and if cars from the year 3000 are going to borrow from it, and we’ll look back at it one day as the great paradigm shift in motoring; then ill be as happy as a clam, but as of right now its one of the most overpriced, overall worst driving (circa – gearbox), flimsily made cars you’ll find.

It is however, the only car you’ll find on display in the New York Museum of Modern Art, so perhaps it isn’t all that over priced by modern art standards…

What we like…

• Compact dimensions combined with a tall ride height. This really is a revolutionary car design.
• Turbo charged motor gets off the line quickly in such a small shell.
• Full electric version of the future could be the zero emissions car we’ve all been waiting for.

What we would like…

• The real estate agents to drive something else.
• Someone to take a sledge hammer to that gearbox.

Ray Leathern has been test driving and critiquing cars for four years now. You’ll find his work at autocirca.com, the Mail & Guardian and of course, right here on SACarFan.