I normally fearsomely resist quoting the dictionary, I don’t write high school essays anymore, but when it comes to this its hard not to. Please be upstanding for the Jaguar XJ 3.0 diesel V6 S Portfolio. This is my quote: Manna \ MAH-nuh \ noun: ‘A supernatural force or power, concentrated in objects.’ The Jaguar has it.

When you climb into the cabin of this Jaguar XJ saloon you immediately feel an air of invincibility wash over you. The size, the luxury, the toys, the technology – this vehicle is as much at home in front of an English manner house surrounded in an autumnal curl of fog as it is at the Ritz Carlton Sheraton Intercontinental in sandy, audacious Abu Dhabi.

This is the 3.0-litre V6 diesel model that will set you back R1 110 000 in Portfolio trim and while I think having an oil burner under the bonnet is a bit daft, because a car of this sort of excess should always be powered by petrol and have a minimum of eight cylinders, it manages to sidestep the inherit problems with diesel drive. It’s made exclusively out of aluminium so it’s very light and that compensates for the weighty engine upfront. It also has adaptive transmission and adaptive ride options to stroke the most out of the feral cat. For over a million rand, you expect that the on board computers will act like a butler, engaging all its toys anonymously as it sees fit with communication coming to you through the brilliant thin-film-transistor screen. It does just that, showing your speedometer, rev counter, gear position and putting all the ‘must know’ information directly in front of you. Fantastic.

The Jaguar XJ diesel is not infallible though. It’s a very big car for one and to us mostly humble South African’s it does struggle to fit in, some of the time, both literally and figuratively. On a weekend trip to Cape St. Francis it literally didn’t fit into the garage at the B&B. Figuratively, in the Far East, Middle East and parts of Europe, sure it will be appropriate, but here it can be much more miss than hit. A passerby called me… ‘Your Royal Highness!’ This person did not have an intimate knowledge of the royal family me thinks, in fact, he displayed many of the traits one might associate with a criminal. Shifty eyes, long robe to hide things under, I made quick getaway with the XJ’s 600 Nm.

Most of the time it feels like you’re driving around in a Bombay Gin Palace. From certain angles, like in profile, it’s not brilliant to look at either. Secondly, the clever computer system controlling the XJ’s air suspension can’t always keep the ride quite as perfect as you might have been hoping. The air suspension feels like it can’t react at all to tiny imperfections on the road, it’s as if it relies on you encountering a big bump before it adjusts its computers to send enough damping to each corner of the car. What results is a very good ride on a not so good road, and vice-versa on a road you always thought was flat and uneventful.

Purists of Jaguar saloons will say its shape is not the real deal, but credit where credit is due, as Ian Callum wanted to re-imagine the four door saloon and it is certainly the overriding design style now – a sloping front and rear with the glass-house as thin as possible. From the inside this translates to a very cossetted feeling. You really are sheltered from the proletariat and left to enjoy the luxury of your Jaguar that now feels more regal than ever.

The car’s stability and sporty response, particularly from the steering, is uncanny. That can all be attributed to the aluminium construction. I don’t think I’ve ever tipped a car this big into bends as fast as I have in the Jaguar XJ. The steering is perfect, the weight is negligible, and the body control supreme. You never have to tap off for a bend, and the Jaguar communicates that to you from the very beginning so you know it’s going to hold, and you can just enjoy it.

The light chassis also means better fuel economy and maximised performance from the V6 diesel motor. On a cycle of mostly extra urban freeway driving, some of it fast but most of it at average speeds, I averaged 7.5 L/100km, with a tank range of 1000 km, which isn’t far off Jaguar’s claims. The big Jag didn’t feel like it would ever dip below 7.0 L/100km though, no matter how calmly you went. I suppose one must consider it does have sat nav, split screen television sets, lane departure warning and everything else to keep powered up.

The Jaguar XJ really contains, like the dictionary says, a kind of God given strength. Many claim it to be one of the best cars in the world, but I’d argue the petrol powered models bring out more of its dynamic talents more of the time. As a saloon car, it’s an entirely different mode of transport altogether because it offers loads of style and driving enjoyment compared to its straight laced German competitors.

What we like…

• Sports car handling despite it being as long as a yacht.
• Six cylinder engine delivers everything except the soundtrack.
• All the bells and whistles.
• Monster 600Nm of torque.

What we would like…

• Some of the detailing is quite kitch.
• For the diesel – it’s not exactly what you’d call cheap.

Ray Leathern has been test driving and critiquing cars for four years now. He is South Africa’s 2010 Motoring Journalist of the Year in the magazine category, as well as a member of SA’s 2011 Car of the Year jury. What Ray writes, we read, and we suggest you do too.