Road Test: Mini Cooper Coupé Steptronic

‘Cool’ is a commodity these days and Mini are master salesmen. Why? Because like any business you need to have a USP (unique selling point) and ideally you want to etch out your own market segment with little to no competition. So Mini don’t just sell cool cars, they sell retro-cool cars and, as we all know, ‘old-school’ becomes ‘new-school’, becomes old-school, becomes new-school, etc. Just look around, the ’80s’ has turned into ‘Zef’, ‘Punk’ has become ‘Emo’, the Atari has become the XBox, and Mini? Well have you seen the Italian Job?! Michael Caine has become Mark Wahlberg.

On the face of it, however, the Mini Coupé appears to void this argument, because there has never been a two-seater Mini before, but… The original Mini was launched back in 1959 when Europe was suffering from a post-WWII and Suez fuel crisis. In turn, the new Mini Coupé has been launched in a time when South Africa’s petrol price has increased over 15 percent since January 2012 – crisis! So really then, it’s no surprise that we have a new Mini amidst another fuel crisis.

The Mini Coupé is not entirely new, however, because it shares the same platform as the Cooper, but the driving experience is quite different. The new two-seater’s exterior length, width and wheelbase, match the measurements of the Cooper hatch virtually to the millimetre, but the MINI Coupé is 29 mm lower than the hatch, thanks to its low, baseball cap-inspired roof and steeply raked windscreen.

As with rest of the range, the front-wheel drive Mini Coupé is equipped with MacPherson struts at the front axle, a multi-link rear axle and Electric Power Steering (EPS). Sports suspension, which brings stiffer damper characteristics and sturdier anti-roll bars, is available as an option and, for those in search of an even sharper ride, the John Cooper Works suspension can be optioned from the accessories list. Yes, this is the part where I’m supposed to draw the comparison between the Mini’s handling and that of a go-kart, and I am, but not in the way you might expect.

You can already picture it can’t you, a scene from a round of the FIA World Karting Championship, with budding Jensons and Buttons kitted out in full race gear and livery. Splendid. Now I copy and paste these words from the Mini Coupé press release: “go-kart driving experience”, and you’re probably picturing one of those Buttons entering a corner with the stability, certainty and speed that few other formulas can match. What a thrilling thought you may be thinking, because you can’t race a go-kart, but if you bought a Mini you can get a little taste of that experience every time you drive. You’d be right too, because the Mini does steer with pinpoint accuracy, rides just 139 mm above the ground, can be customised in countless colour and trim combinations for your own street smart livery, and has a host of stability (DSC) and traction (DTC) systems to maximise both.

Not such a pretty picture, however, is the ride. Go-karts don’t have suspension, so their tubular steel frames need to offer enough flex to absorb the harshest bumps and change of track camber, without being too stiff to the point of cracking. Of course the Mini does have suspension and an entirely modern and sophisticated one at that, but in combination with the short wheelbase, the ride can be choppy and you’re aware of every bump and imperfection in the road. Like the driver the Mini’s interior equipment is subject to the ridged ride too, with a fair amount of creaks from the plastics as a result. On the plus side, pristine, smooth road surfaces showcase the Mini’s exuberant levels of grip, exploitable via the accurate and quick steering. In fact, the Mini will stick to the road like a gecko to a wall given the right surface – which is likely why the original launch included track time at Killarney.

Despite the ‘acquired taste’ of the ride on the road, which is a common theme throughout the range, the Mini Coupé is actually the best Mini you can buy. It’s strictly a two-seater, meaning there is ample room in the cabin for passengers, with room behind the seats too. The boot is also easier to access than the hatch and offers far more capacity – 280-litres vs. 160-litres. The low roof, with its integrated rear spoiler looks, well, just plain ‘boss‘ as the cool kids would say. Then there’s also the active rear-spoiler that remains tucked into the boot-lid until the car reaches 80 km/h, whereafter it raises up to provide up to 40 kg of downforce at high speeds.

The naturally aspirated, 1.6-litre, petrol engine found in the entry-level Coupé may not be the most powerful, but it does offer a certain level of frugality in terms of price and fuel economy. The four-cylinder petrol engine develops 90 kW at 6 000 r/min and peak torque of 160 Nm at 4 250 r/min. Engine response is good, thanks to a fully variable valve management system, which also aids in the smooth power delivery and improved fuel economy. The 6-speed steptronic transmission is a less-than ideal match to the engine, however, as its friskiness feels a little caged in due to the automatic’s slow response. For this reason, the 6-speed manual would be far more in-tune with the sporty character and intended spirit of the little baseball-capped whippersnapper. The contrast between the two transmissions is illustrated in the benchmark 0 – 100 km/h acceleration times of 9.0 seconds for the manual and 10.3 seconds for the auto, which is also uses 0.9 L/100km more fuel with an average of 6.7 L/100km.

While all the other kids with their pumped up kicks might be able to out run your Coupé gun, you’ll find some solace in list of potential options for your Mini Coupé. Standard equipment includes: power steering; park distance control with rear sensors; height-adjustable sports seats; electrically adjustable exterior mirrors; and radio/CD/MP3-player with Aux-In connection. The options list is vast and can become expensive, but offers a level of individuality not widely available in the small car segment, for example: xenon headlights with adaptive feature that adjust to the car’s steering angle and speed for safer illumination of the road through corners; a Harman Kardon sound system; and Mini Connected.

Mini Connected is largely focused around internet-based services inside the car, using your mobile phone’s data network as the link to World Wide Web. Available features include web radio, use of the Google local search, as well as reception of user-definable RSS news feeds that can be read out using the optional voice output function. Mini Connected also allows access to Facebook and Twitter posts via the 6.5-inch colour display, while a number of preformatted text messages can be sent directly from the car using either service.

If it’s retro-cool and the corresponding novelty you’re after, there are few alternatives to just about the entire Mini product portfolio, with the new Coupé spearheading that argument. Together with the real heritage of the brand, which similarly priced competitors largely lack, the Mini has superior allure in the small car segment.

What we like…

• Head-turning looks.
• A dedicated two-seater.
• Fun to drive on ideal tarmac.
• The most spacious two-door Mini with the biggest boot.

What we would like…

• More fun to drive on not-so-ideal tarmac.
• Improved quality plastics for less creaks and rattles.
• A much faster auto gearbox to keep up with the perky engine.

All images are of the Mini Cooper S Coupé.

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