Road Test: BMW M5

This is one of those cars whose dynamic abilities are so preposterous that it produces those all too rare ‘laugh-out-loud’ moments at the stab of an ‘M’ button. It also requires quiet contemplation before any of the real hooning about commences, writes Richard Webb.

What we have before us is a ridiculously fast sports car that can also morph into a refined and relatively frugal luxury saloon. A Jekyll and Hyde character to suit the mood of any automotive schizophrenic, if you will. This is something BMW are cleverly adding to their car making alchemy at the moment. Cars that ride unfathomably well, produce decent economy numbers and still offer mind-boggling performance.

It’s performance that’s at the heart of the car, no matter what its other many qualities may be. The smaller turbo engine goes against M’s previous DNA, but has been introduced to make M cars cleaner and more frugal. The outgoing 5.0-litre V10 needed 7 750 r/min to scream out its 373 kW, whilst the new 4.4-litre M TwinPower Turbo V8 power plant thumps its 412 kW out at just 6 000 r/min. While the V10 made its 520 Nm of peak torque at 6 100 r/min, the turbocharged V8 delivers a monsterous 680 Nm from as low as 1 500 r/min. That huge slug of torque means the effective rev range is much broader than in the ‘old’ car, even it feels a little less hard core. Stripped of the spine-tingling howl of the old V10, the sound is partly muted by the forced induction plumbing.

Though whether you love turbo-charged motors or not, they are here to stay and it’s that shift in philosophy that has radically changed the character of the 2012 BMW M5. BMW’s Valvetronic variable valve control also does away with the conventional throttle butterfly and uses variable intake valve lift to do the job instead. The addition of Valvetronic actually improves throttle response, but its real goal is to deliver better fuel consumption; the new M5′s V8 is 30 percent more efficient than the old V10.

The easy flexibility afforded by that twin-turbo V8 is astonishing, bringing with it effortless motorway cruising. The other big difference is the gear change: the E60 M5 used a 7-speed semi-automatic transmission with six different shift speeds. The delay between gear changes on the old car was at times ponderous and at others, vicious. The new ’box is faster and much smoother, but it also has a pleasingly direct engagement, rather than a slur and is one of the new car’s biggest leaps in technology and application.

Like all dual-clutch M’s, one caress of the paddle-shift takes you from auto to manual mode, keeping the driver in charge. It doesn’t default back to auto like so many rivals do. Thankfully, the ride quality is still magnificent, serving up a quiet, comfortable, smooth riding cruise when required.

Initially, there’s a steep learning curve before you can extract the most out of the M5′s layers of technology. Depress the starter button and every electronic aid defaults to nanny mode — the transmission, the suspension, the steering is in ‘comfort’ and the throttle is at its laziest. That’s not to say the M5 is ungainly or difficult to manage when it’s pushed. The body control is peerless given the substantial mass and 19-inch alloys.

Choose the ‘Caped Crusader’ setting (also known as Sport Plus) and the car becomes razor sharp and bristles with snarling yet refined power. As it is with the similar (but not identical) V8 used in the X5 M, X6 M and M6, the M5′s two twin-scroll, reverse-flow turbos nestle into the valley between its two cylinder banks, so it’s compact and er…quiet. A bit more ‘theatre’ and more tantalising off-throttle burble would be nice.

The characteristics of the car were on best display around some of Cape Town’s twisty black ribbons and the kind of roads upon which taxis dwelleth not. Left in the default soft settings, the 2012 BMW M5 could feel unsettled if driven aggressively into tight corners. The stability and traction control systems are quite conservative, strangling the car down if it thinks you’re just not doing it right. For sure, the M5 feels massively powerful, but it can also feel its weight when the computer nanny has its beady eyes on you.

Turn off the adrenalin police and the nanny technology all but evaporates. Everything changes. Using the flappy paddles to shift, the car rockets toward every apex like a rat up a drainpipe. Get too aggressive into the corners though, and slight understeer comes to visit. Tramp the accelerator too hard, and you’ll see the stability-control light or tire smoke, maybe even both. Get it right though, and the perfectly weighted throttle pushes the tail out slightly, the hydraulic power steering reacts instantly and then the nose will line up for the next sight of the target apex and another application of monumental thrust. The sweet spot feels good. Very good.

Straight-line hooning about confirms the M5′s Apollo-like linear thrust. Its 0 – 100 km/h sprint of 4.4 seconds is nothing short of phenomenal and its 12.2-second quarter-mile time is enough to blow most cars into the Armco. It needs all of its six-pot calipers to retard the beast though and brake feel can diminish if driven spiritedly enough.

‘Restraint’, that easy to say, but difficult to apply descriptor, will return about 10.3 L/100km on the combined cycle, but the M5 is about crushing performance. It does everything its lesser 5 Series siblings do, but adds the potential for serious Nürburgring Nordschleife moments when the fancy takes you. Your best bet is to spend some considered time with the car, because in ‘Caped Crusader’ mode, it is guaranteed to bite back if your ego is greater than your ability.

What we like…

• The engine, gearbox and drive-train, makes an average driver feel very quick.
• Normal, unburstable BMW interior and properly sorted telematics.
• Discrete ‘Q-car’ looks makes you actually appear sensible.

What we would like…

• A better sound-track.
• For the car not to be sent back to BMW press fleet.

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