It is said that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, but where does that leave car salesmen? Their unique character and social skills mean they must be from another planet, or at very least a town few have ever heard of. Carnarvon perhaps?

If you’re a motoring enthusiast it’s an all too familiar story. You walk into a showroom and are greeted by a friendly smile, which generally masks vasts amounts of ignorance about the vehicle in question. You already know all there possibly is to know about the vehicle you’re there to see. You’ve Googled it, read owners reviews on blogs and forums, viewed countless pictures from different angles and in different colours, you’ve downloaded the brochure from the manufacturers website and spec’d the car to your needs using their “build your own” tool. You’ve run the numbers through a finance calculator and know what it’ll cost you, and if you’re into modifying, you’ve probably also spent hours researching available wheels, body kits and go-faster bits.

It’s for this reason that I find visiting a showroom a bitter sweet experience. On the one hand, it’s exciting to get up close and personal with your potential purchase, but on the other, you know at some point you’ll need to deal with a sales person.

Inexperience
When I was ready to buy my first new car, I’d done all my reasearch and knew exactly what cars were available within my budget. I concluded that the Ford Fiesta ST was the best bang for my buck at that time and so began the buying process. The saleswoman was young and from what I could gather, somewhat inexperienced. Naturally, I pressured her for the best possible deal. She managed to talk herself into such a tangle that she ended up telling me their cost price!

In that case, her lack of knowledge and expereince was to my benefit, but you don’t always get so lucky.

Out Of This World

A few years later  I arranged to test drive a new Golf V GTI. When my girlfriend and I arrived at the dealership, we were ushered over to the salesman I’d arranged to meet. He was standing on the showroom floor, busy on a phone call. No problem. However, despite knowing that we were there, he kept us waiting for several awkward minutes. Without any “I’ll be with you now” gestures or apologies, he eventually glanced over and clicked the remote to unlock the red GTI, without skipping a beat on his phone call. It was clear he wasn’t making an effort to finish his call and so we made our way to the car and I began to acquaint myself with it. When he finally joined us, he simply got into the back seat, forcing us to introduce ourselves to him before setting off on the test drive.

During the test drive our disinterested salesman spoke a total of three times. The first occasion was when I suggested a route which would have been little more than a 10km round trip. His response was…”I don’t have all day, I’ve got work to do”!

When he spoke to us the second time, he wasn’t actually speaking to us at all. Instead he decided that making a personal phone call was more important than answering any questions we may have had.

On the way back I was trying to get a feel for the handling of the car through some twisties. Our “charismatic” salesman spoke for the final time…”Are you buying the car to race?”. He had me on that one. I may have been doing close to 85km/h in an 80km/h zone and since he hadn’t yet explained a single thing about the vehicle, I had no way of knowing if it would handle these sorts of speeds.

By the time I returned the car, I had more of an impression of the sales person and his manager, than I had of the Golf GTI. The manager, who almost arrogantly also failed to greet or introduce himself, found it more important to chit-chat to his colleagues instead of swiftly assisting us with trade-in information.

I was so astonished by the prevailing attitude, that right there and then I vowed never to set foot in that particular dealership again. Looking back it really was quite farcical, although not as funny as the following salesman whose ignorance caught him out.

You Must Be Joking
In my younger days I remember visiting a Peugeot dealer with my father. While taking a look at the then new 406, he enquired whether the motor was still using a longstroke , as he knew to be the case in the older 404 model.  (A longstroke, or under-square engine, has cylinders with a smaller diameter than length of piston travel – something you’d find in the engine specifications or by physically opening the engine casing to measure.) What the salesman did next was comical to say the least. He said “I don’t know, lets open up the bonnet and have a look” and proceeded to open the bonnet before peering aimlessly into the engine bay and hoping for my father to make the judgement. Needless to say, the only words from my father were “Thanks for your time and have a nice day”.

Yes, I’m generalising here and of course there are sales people who know their product and clientele inside out, I know a few of them. But generally they are few and far between. The real exception seems to come from those who deal with high net worth individuals who are potential Porsche, Ferrari or Lamborghini owners. As I’ve discovered, it’s not only a pleasure to step into these showrooms and eye out their exotic machinery, but it’s also often an informative experience.

Life In The Fast Lane

Earlier this year I stepped into my local Lamborghini dealer and became engaged in such conversation with the salesman that I only walked out close on two hours later. How refreshing! A good salesman can wax lyrical about the history of the brand or a particular model. He’ll supply you with small details about a car, the driving experience, its character and any nuances which you otherwise may not have known.

As a brand ambassador, salesmen should live the brand. At the very least they should know their product, but ideally they should have you and your family or friends sold on their product, price, knowledge and integrity.

If you’ve got a story to share about a funny experience on the showroom floor, why not post a comment and share it with us.